In walked Santa — no, not the jolly, bearded icon of Christmas — but the grumpy, unshaven guy who was struggling to keep up with his costume and even more with his patience. The holiday icon is struggling to get through his shift, sweating through his suit and nearly falling asleep.

I greeted Santa cautiously. He grunted in return, his face a redder shade than his suit. I thought maybe he was just tired. Who wouldn’t be, spending hours taking pictures with every kid who insisted on sitting on his lap? But then, the words came. I was frozen for a moment. Santa was … swearing? And not just swearing, but genuinely furious?

I work at the Oaks Mall at Santa’s Place, where I mainly take pictures of Santa Claus with a neverending line of kids and sometimes work the register.

But, as I’ve learned, dealing with Santa is almost like another job in itself. I thought it would be all twinkling lights, the jolly laughter of a man in a red suit and children lined up to tell Santa their wishes. However, what I should’ve expected and prepared for was a whole different type of holiday magic—the kind that involves a surprisingly loud and angry Santa. 

When his shift ended, he didn’t leave with a jolly laugh or a “Ho ho ho!” He walked out of the break room with a tired sigh, still muttering under his breath.

It turns out, Santa is just a person, struggling with the pressures of the season. Christmas isn’t always about perfection, about flawless smiles in photos nor about a red suit that makes everything feel magical. 

I’ll never look at Santa the same way again. Maybe he’s still cussing out the break room somewhere, muttering about kids and parents and the unfair expectations of the season. Sometimes, it’s about surviving the chaos, keeping your sense of humor intact and remembering that we’re all just trying our best, even when the holidays are anything but jolly.